The Gender Gap: A Night Out, A Wake-Up Call

I was at a party on Friday and met a bunch of new people. Before the party, my husband and I went out to dinner and I had a fabulous holiday cocktail.

Feeling a bit anxious about meeting a new group of people, we decided to make it interesting.

The bet?

The over under of people leading with the 'so what do you do' as a conversation opener. The over under was 75% (I took the over).

(Our side bet was how many people were on Blue Sky. Turns out, none.)

So the results were that 100% of the men led with that question. 0% of the women did.

Interestingly, every couple there also had the husband as the household money person. The common phrase was that "he takes care of that" or "I used to until we got married". Not everyone was a single income household. A few were, though. 

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My grandmother had no financial control of her own. She would be left an allowance on her dresser every week to take care of the household. I know we've come a long way since then, but... 

Feeling a bit like I was in a time warp, this led me to want to ensure that as financial planners, we keep pushing for ensuring equitable (not equal) discussions with both partners. So many reasons.

1) Financial honesty leads to relationship trust. No hidden spending, no hidden secrets.

2) Knowing the family finances allows you to feel like you can have a more informed say over decisions that, as partners you ought to be making together. 

3) If something happens to the 'money leader', how will the other person be able to cope on their own? Do they know where all the money is? Who to contact? How to pay the bills? 

4) Building a joint household cash flow plan can lead to a much more stable long term financial outlook. Have BOTH parties involved to make it tax efficient!

5) Empowerment and self worth. I tell clients you don't need to get a PhD in finance, but you do want to feel confident enough to the level in which you want to be engaged.

What happens in your household?

• One takes the lead, but the other knows the full scope
• We jointly participate in financial responsibilities
• One takes the lead, and the other doesn't pay attention
• Neither of us really know what's going on